When people have divorce questions, it often turns out that they’ve heard some myths and they’re either confused about how these myths could be true or they have accepted the myths and are trying to make sense of a complex process with inaccurate information. Both stances can be highly detrimental to your divorce.
This isn’t to say anyone fed you these myths intentionally. They’re just the types of things that get repeated and passed around, often as advice by well-meaning friends. Even so, it’s important to debunk them so that you know exactly where you stand while moving toward your own divorce.
Myth No. 1: The court is going to give custody to you or your ex
Sole custody is on the table and may be used if it’s best for your children, but the courts heavily prefer shared or joint custody. It is much more likely that they’re going to divide custody between you and your ex. Sole custody is typically used in cases where the child may be harmed or where living with one parent is seen as detrimental to their development and growth.
Myth No. 2: Your child can choose where they want to live
Your child can say where they want to live, and, if they’re deemed old enough to have a valid opinion and an understanding of what it means, the court can consider their desires. But they cannot pick entirely, as the court also weighs many other factors. Your child’s wishes are just part of it.
Myth No. 3: The divorce process has to be a long, complicated court battle
While many divorce cases are long and complicated court battles, it certainly doesn’t have to be this way. When exes are able to work together toward the same goals and make compromises, they can often make things simpler, easier and faster. Some divorce cases don’t even end up in court at all, as the couple is able to come to their own agreements through mediation or other tactics.
If you’re heading toward a divorce, it’s critical to take the time to make sure you have accurate information and you really understand the process.